I typed this during today's church service

I have been trying to justify coming to church to myself for almost two weeks now. The church as an institution, has been at odds with the person I have become over the years. The identiy that I am comfortable with is a total opposite of what the church wants me to be. 

But today and for the past two weeks, I have been attending church services at the church where I grew up. From Sunday School, through to confirmation class. Also a place where I made friendships that still remain on solid foundation. A whole community that nurtured the leader that I am today congregates here. My love for music, especially classical music was born here. Everything that I am to my community, I learned here. 

I am typing this while in church, during the sermon. That's because the big part of my service is over. The singing. The music. 

I don't know why I have been trying to justify coming to church to myself. Is it because I have made friends with academics and professionals who have strong views against the church? Is it because I have failed for so long to defend what I believe in? Maybe it's my failure to mimic my own mother, who is also a Sangoma. She managed to be with our community, the church and remained committed to passing down traditions of our ancestors.

I feel like I belong here. It feels right to be here now. 

I have always maintained that being Lutheran and a Sangoma could never go together. Maybe it's time I reconciled the two without compromising myself. 

Terrorism and a Clash of civilizations

I was one of the people who voiced disappointment when the mass media completely ignored a story of a ten-year-old girl who blew up a Nigerian market in a suicide bomb attack. It was almost like this incident was destructing the media's agenda of squeezing the juice out of the French terror attacks story.

But more people had already died in Nigeria at the hands of Boko Haram. And the reaction of that country's government has not been inspiring. It only embraces the widely known fact that black life is indeed cheap. How can we blame anyone for not protecting our own people? 

In my little experience, journalism has evolved. So much that when a certain media agenda setting is in full swing, nothing can shift it. Journalism is a business too. It is no longer a case of giving people something to think about, but we tell people what tot think, grab their attention and keep them consuming "our product". So, death of scores of Africans is not new to headlines. It has always been part of the headlines. Perhaps a decisive government or a President that reacts like French President Francois Hollande is a story we would rather tell. That's why I thought perhaps our reaction to tragedy highlights a clash of civilations. We react differently and the media will most probaly choose the reaction that will keep the story alive. When a man attacked a restaurant in Syndey, Australia, there were murmurings of why we went big on a story on such small scale. Small scale because "only two people died". For some countries, one life is one too many and they jealously guard their sovereignty. 

We can use the race card till the cows come home. We possess the power to change the way the world sees us. 

Africa needs young vibrant leaders to salvage our dignity.