HOW CIVIL IS OUR UNION?

There is no connection between the law and the people.Today’s 10th-year anniversary of the Civil Union Act is bittersweet for any activist advocating for human rights, especially for the LGBTI community. Hate crimes have continued unabated. Lesbian women raped and beaten up.

South Africa became the first country in the world to use its Constitution to protect the rights of the LGBTI community. And we should say thanks to Simon Nkoli, Bev Ditsie and others who, during apartheid, still fought for sexual minorities. They fought a long, layered and complicated battle. These achievements are on paper. Society is still very resistant and life is still not easy for gay and lesbian people.

It was never going to be easy with leaders like President Jacob Zuma and Mmusi Maimane. Zuma had to apologise for his homophobic comments, while Maimane had to clarify his comments on whether he thought gay people are sinners.

We have conservative leaders. Sometimes their beliefs border on being very primitive. That’s why you still hear men saying women should not wear mini-skirts because it’s provocative. That’s why you still see people being okay with a leader randomly referring to women as “Ntombazana” with a suggestive tone. Treating people with dignity is a requirement by law, but we still see dignity being stripped off people. Let me not get off the topic.

The Civil Union Act is enjoyed by resourced members of the LGBTI community. If you don’t command enough social power as a gay man or lesbian woman, you are unlikely to enjoy the fruits of our progressive Constitution. Most of the hate crimes take place in poor areas. We’ve heard stories of police making a mockery of lesbian women who wanted to report rape or attempted rape. Poor Black bodies in the LGBTI community are vulnerable and can only dream of planning a wedding and finding a willing marriage officer who will officiate and get them married without a hustle.

LGBTI issues are never mainstream because they don’t make business sense for the media. You still have heteronormative adverts and portrayal of family life. The only time you find a story about gay or lesbian people is when it sells the newspapers or gives TV news channels good ratings. Basically gay and lesbian people are there to only create a gaze or become some sort of exhibition for the “normal” people. There are good attempts by people like Thami Kotlolo who has been organizing the Chevrolet Feather Awards for about 8 years now. Even that has not made headway in getting most of the “celebrities” to be ambassadors and advocates of LGBTI rights. When it’s done it’s more for publicity than it is done as the right thing to do.

Heterosexual celebrities use LGBTI people for posture and to achieve goals only known to them. Openly gay celebrities use their “gayness” to make a living. People will say “I love his personality”. But my position is, we don’t “gay” for a living. We don’t “lesbian” for a living. If I am not flamboyant, but gay, I would not cut it as something mainstream media uses to represent all gay people. These are some of the things that stand in the way of progress for sexual minorities. It forms part of the reason why the Civil Union Act means nothing to most people in the LGBTI community.

I would like to highlight that the institution that we all grew up viewing as refuge is also complicit in perpetuating hate for the LGBTI community. The church still dishes out conditions to gay and lesbian people before they can be members or even leaders.  The Catholic Church, even under the most progressive Pope, will not accept the LGBTI community. What’s the point of being a member of the congregation but do not enjoy the same privileges as heterosexual fellow congregants? Archbishop Emeritus Tutu’s daughter had to choose between the church and being gay. Really?

Lastly, the LGBTI community and its lobby groups also need to do something about the mess that we are in. I never hear of any LGBTI group taking part in broader community activities. We mostly focus on what our funders want us to do. We must join other civil society movements and act like part of society. We must get rid of “we don’t get involved in politics” attitude and join in causes that will integrate us. At this point we are alienated because we want people to learn about us, when we do nothing for their advancement.  We may argue that our HIV/Aids campaigns are for everyone. But there are things we do in our campaigns that do not make everyone feel like joining in.

I am not sure what it is.