The Stench of death

Maybe we must start buying each other tombstones as Christmas gifts or even on Birthdays just so we all get to understand that we will some day leave this world. Death of our loved ones traumatise us forever. Sometimes even those who left us long go still have a massive impact on the lives we live today. The Holocaust, Sharpeville Massacre, the Iraqi War, the famine that plagued Ethoipia and Somalia. They changed the coure of many lives. We still commemorate the Rwanda genocide. Death has an enormous impact on all of us. It is still difficult to see it as part of life I'm sure not just for me, but for many others too. 

The passing of TV personality Vuyo Mbuli, was a serious wake up call for me. It was more of a text message from the universe. I had forgotten that we are not immortal. I had abandoned my mission to make a difference, to make a mark and embrace good old life. I was absorbed in the petty matters of the heart. Every spare second I had was spent on moping around, making excuses and feeling sorry for myself. I was blind to see the opportunities that Were just a stone-throw away. Days would go by without accomplishing a thing. Not even put a smile on someone else. I wanted great things that I did not work for. If ever I was caught solving problems, they wouldn't be my own. No peace of mind. 

I look at my elderly parents with a different eye now. I acknowledge that they will not be here with us forever. But that doesn't drive me into a depression state. It just helps me appreciate them more. Death has ironically become a life's lesson. 

My Tribute to Vuyo Mbuli (14 May 1967 to 18 May 2013)

Today we woke up of news that renowned broadcaster, Vuyo Mbuli died of a heart attack while watching a rugby match in Bloemfontein. To me, it was like I just lost a family member. His larger than life personality was on my TV screen every morning. It became a daily ritual to hear him deliver news before we go to school. Then I grew up, it became every morning before I go to work. Vuyo Mbuli, delivering news in the most unconventional way. There are those who were lucky enough to have had Vuyo say "O bosso wena" to them. This was an accolade to any extraordinary South African interviewed by Vuyo Mbuli. 

Anybody  who didn't know President Jacob Zuma's middle name Gedleyihlekisa, now knows because Vuyo always made it his mission to name him in full in all his bulletins. He did the same for Thabo Mvuyelwa Mbeki. It can be said that the 46-year-old TV personality was patriotic and took pride being a South African journalist, telling stories in ways that South Africans would find easy to consume. 

I did not know Vuyo personally, but when I worked at the SABC, still fresh from training to become a Sangoma. He saw me in my attire and beads, he made feel even more at home. Greeted me with respect and commended me for heeding a call that not so many in the "corporate world" would be proud to display. I thanked him with tears in my eyes. From that day when I met him on the SABC coridors we would greet and have small talk. He was a people's person. The security personnel at the SABC loved him. He would be late for make-up, held up downstaris chatting about soccer over the weekend. He could converse with anyone and would attempt speaking any South African language.

He loved saying Mintiro ya vulavula, that's Xitsonga for actions speak louder than words. His actions will be a legacy left for all of us to reflect and choose our own course. Some of his actions reported in the media were not pleasing. He made mistakes like all of us. Although the media would not tell us if he made up for his errors. The little I know is that he remained a committed father to his children. A few days ago I retweeted his tweet saying he was watching his child play soccer. A moment he clearly enjoyed. 

Vuyo Mbuli, rest in peace my brother. South Africa is poorer without you. 

Same story different angle

"You are a sangoma, gay, black and outspoken. That's reason enough for you to write a book chomie". That's one quote I heard from six different people in my big circle of good friends. I always LOL or just dismiss the idea. Being black was something out of hands, I had nothing to do with it. Although we all know that in this country, the colour ofmone's skin does help people make connclusions about what you could be all about. I make racial jokes all the time with my colleagues and friends. I think for me it's a way of recovering from the trauma. Letting go of being bitter and becoming a better human being. Like many black countrymen, I bear the scars of being called a kaffir and made to feel undeserving of my achievements by white schoolmates. Fought my battles and won them. Being black and gay meant that I had to work harder than black straight boys. Most of them were submissive to the white boys club and even spoke Afrikaans to please them. I was defiant. I am almost 30 years old now. I have a deent job and well educated. But I still find myself dealing with prejudice veiled with a fake smile. Prejudice on many different levels. When I went tomrenew my gym contract, the sales consultant asked me if my wife wouldn't be keen on joining me to gym. A wedding band on your left finger registers you as a straight man, married with children. The trouble of explaining that I am married to another man irritates more than it pains me. We have too many problems in this country. 

The stench of poverty lingers everywhere you go. And so I remind myself that last thing on people's minds is whether I am gay or not. The very same poverty, comes from the same place as the prejudice we experience almost on a daily basis. Our men are imasculated by poverty and exclusion from the economy that benefits only a few. And because heterosexism is our way of life, men are expected to fend for the women and children. Sucessful women are prejudiced. Almost taboo. I concluded that poverty breeds chauvinism and is also a roadblock for a new way of thinking. So, when heterosexism reigns in our community, do you still find it shocking that a lesbian woman is raped, mutilated and murdered? She does not fit in with what is expected of us all by society norms.

 When I heeded the call to become a Sangoma, I often found myself at crossroads. Many times, I would have to choose between becoming an activist first or a healer first. But I always remember that Samgomas have to play the role of a community builder. Despite being demonised by Christian doctrine, African traditional healing has millions and millions of subscibers. When a family discovers that they cannot bear children. The usual first port of call for divine intervention would be with a Sangoma. It pains me how women would always take the blame for not being able bear children. Perhaps that is how patriarchy programmed us all. The man being "the head ofnthe family" women often plead woth me not to tell their husbands they consulted without them. Women are delegated to the kitchen and to mind children. Even when it is know that women are often emotionally matured. There are credentials far more than maturity that should be reason enough for women to lead. My spirituality has been the referee in all my battles with tradition and custom that bother me. Culture has to evolve. But I bargain with the grandmothers. My ancestors.

Zuma may have a point.....

President Jacob Zuma had a point, but missed the opportunity to make it clear. It is common place for whites to treat their dogs better than other people and it is a trend among black people nowadays. 

This is not an attack on white people. But a way of saying to black people; "who are you?". Most black people suffer serious identity crisis. They are diluted by the living conditions that demonise our own customs. And consequently it also erodes humanity. 

Sometimes I find it nauseating on the amount of money people both black and white will spend on their dogs, the cost of dog food, vet bills, housing, and dressing dogs as if they were people. Have we forgotten that these are only animals, where is the humanity when I as a person will spend R600 to R1200.00 a month on a couple bags of upscale dog food because I want "Fido" to eat well, but refuse to understand or acknowledge that some people have nothing to eat. We can't even see that they are trying to feed their families on R250.00 a month in food stamps. 

South Africa has people who cannot afford to go to the doctor to have a common cold treated because of the cost or they have no medical aid. The backlog of apartheid still prevents decent medical care to our people.  But I will take my dog to be treated for the Parvovirus and think nothing on flopping down R2900.00 so my dog will not suffer, that is insanity. 

I understand when people  treat their dogs well but there is a limitation on how much money we spend on them.
I wouldn't treat them better than my neighbour who may have nothing. So yes I see Zuma's point.

I like the challenge  on black women who straighten their hair  and buy weaves to have long hair to Europeanise themselves to conform to standard of beauty. 

Black people throughout the world are losing their pride and culture in being black with our emulation on conforming to the white standard in everything we do.

Maybe the ANC should die of old age

I do not want to sit here and be deterred by the Mangaung election results. This year was the year for South African citizens. And it is my hope that Jacob Zuma's re-election as the ANC president will fuel ideas in the minds of our citizens. Patriotism drove a group of concerned people to force the minister of education to deliver learning material to Limpopo pupils. When we were told to pay e-tolls, we stood and took to the courts and the streets to fight for what we believed in. The year 2012 was  the year of the citizens, because ordinary people like Dr Mamphela Ramphele who prevented Zuma's government from appointing the tainted Richard Mdluli from a crucial Position in the security of our country. The spirit of democracy crushed the plans of the ANC to contaminate the State even further.
My warning to the arrogant ANC is that do not underestimate the will of the South African people.
You have to be very selfish to ignore the R 240 million Nkandla Project. You must have buried your conscience if you turn a blind eye to the lack of decisive leadership from President Jacob Zuma. The delegates at Mangaungn Conference Today projected Zuma for a second term in office as head of State. That is equivalent to a spit in the face of many impoverished people of this country. This better evoke Thirst for change. I refuse to accept that a few thousand people can decide on the future of millions of South Africans. Very few good things can be alluded to the Zuma Presidency. The ANC is plagued corruption. And those who voted at the Mangaung conference knew they stand to benefit under Zuma presidency. Why else would you vote for a man with a track record like that of Zuma? The only thing they have achieved is to keep Zuma out of prison.
Something powerful has to come out against this uncertain future for our constitutional democracy. Zackie Achmat has given up his ANC membership. Now that is comforting. There are still South Africans with a conscience. I too, hope the scars of the labour movement which they got from the Marikana massacre do not heal until they erupt and charge the ANC. Charge them like an angry bull. And form a political party that will win the hearts and minds of South Africans who have not benefitted from the lies and deceit by the ANC. Cannot wait for the day when the ordinary citizen say "Amandla" and the masses respond, "Awethu". Because truly, the power is ours.

Apartheid: A black man's scapegoat?

Can we blame some of our social ills on apartheid? Yes we can! Some of us may not live to see a South Africa that has equal opportunities for everyone. But here's the catch in all this, we cannot divorce ourselves from the problems that are clear that they cannot be blamed of the legacy of apartheid. When you switch on your television, you see young black men and women idolising the likes of Kenny Kunene. Some go as far as calling themselves Izikhothane. Kids from poor backgrounds burning banknotes and tearing their trendy, expensive clothing. When you channel hop to another channel, you hear of teens falling pregnant just so they can have access to the R280 social grant. Then tell me how can we expect the Annual National Assessment of our schools to produce any encouraging results?

Can we really say that these kids are the legacy of apartheid? How can you say yes when you have self-motivated youngsters of the same age who grew up in child-headed families, but still have thirst and hunger for education? How are they different from the Izikhothane and those having unprotected sex, having children just to loot the hard work of taxpayers? Does being poor mean you have to be a burden of the already struggling economy. Why can't the legacy of apartheid make us all determined  to be part of the economy.

Township schools are now producing another generation of underpaid farm workers. They are breeding the next generation of exploited domestic workers. There are way too many people that I know of that flourished under far more desperate situations. There is lack of discipline. The black man's disease of self-hate can be diagnosed on this youth that cannot see beyond being an Izikhothane or falling pregnant for ridiculous reasons.

While we give apartheid, a break, where are the teachers? Call them for a Sadtu conference they will come with potbellies in their red T-Shirts and Edgars sneakers. But call them for a round table discussion on how to get the education system right, there will be a low turnout. Our teachers are politicised and they love it. I'm generalising for a good reason. It is the majority of our black people that suffer at the ends of teachers who lack passion. And some of them are the sad realities of apartheid because careers were limited in their times. They failed to change the cour of their lives by not Educating our children.

I am not going to touch on the political leadership. We all know deep in our Nkandlas that we are misled.

ANC's lack of compassion: apartheid lives on

Lenasia demolitions 'about corruption': The demolition of houses on land intended for government housing in Lenasia was part of the fight against corruption, Gauteng Housing MEC Ntombi Mekgwe says.