Baby, I've been telling friends and some of your relatives that only one thing comes to mind when I try to make sense of your passing. You and I had the kind of love that people experience over a long, long time. Our time was short but we had already made memories that will last me till the day I cross over to you. You took the lead when it comes to matters of the heart. You were the one that made me realise that we have a "forever" arrangement. Every time when I made you angry, you made it a point to correct me. But what I appreciate most, is how you forgave me. You still had the same passion for our love even after cruel mistakes and inconsiderate choices I made. I tried to do the same, but I found myself still trying even after almost a decade of being together. You are so easy to love. And that's why I will keep loving you beyond this life on earth.
Yes, you were not perfect either. But through all the trials, one thing was clear. Our love. It was effortless and none of us felt a burden. We had honest conversations about everything. We protected each of other from being hurt in any way. That's one thing we had in common among many other things.
We went through so much in a very short time. You went through way too much from a very young age. And so I use that as God's excuse when I try to comfort myself and others. I also think you agreed to go so soon because you knew I'd be able handle this life by myself. You believed in me and you always told me how amazing I am and how proud you were of me. I'd just smile and tell you to stop. But I always told you that I'm a productive human being because of you. I love you so much baby.
I won't lie. I wanted to secretly cross over with you when I could not figure out what I would do without you. But the overwhelming love and support from our friends did not give me a chance to device a plan. Since your passing, I no longer fear death. I even wanted to trade places with you, because I still think you were begining to grow wings. Wings to fly to the heights you always imagined. I know your dreams and I know the plans you had for us. That's why your death will always be a mystery. But I will do everything in my power to cope. Simply because I know you always wanted everyone to be happy. I will try. Oh my happy hubby. I miss you. I really wish you'd just come back.
This line "But I will do everything in my power to cope"broke my heart and made me want to hug you. He has not left you alone, he is with you and looking after you and your kids. He left you with memories. Hold on tight and raise those angels that he left you with he is there spiritually.
ReplyDelete"You still had the same passion for our love even after cruel mistakes and inconsiderate choices I made. You are so easy to love. And that's why I will keep loving you beyond this life on earth."
ReplyDeleteThis right here made me shed tears!!!
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