When I didn't kiss you goodbye

When I didn't kiss you goodbye, it wouldn't be because I'm mad at you. It was always because you'd be sleeping so peacefully when I'm getting ready for my early morning shift. As soon as you woke up, I'd get a call or text message complaining why I didn't say goodbye. This is one of the pictures I presented to you last year. Trying to explain how I could not bring myself to ruining your beauty sleep. You'd still not appreciate that I left without saying goodbye. You were so strict with that tradition. You lived up to it every time. Angry or not, you kissed me hello and goodbye. I knew I had done something wrong if the kiss was on the cheek or on my forehead. That's also how I knew you had a bad day. There were signs in the kisses. I miss them. I remember on your last day on earth, you kept coming to our bedroom just to kiss me. Refusing to let me out of bed. I didn't know I had just spent my last night with you. I'm lucky I got all those lessons of love from you, because there are no regrets. Just heartache. We even made up for the days I didn't have the heart to wake you just to kiss you goodbye.

It's 2:50am as I type this. I can't sleep. It happens a lot. I was so spoilt. I could not fall asleep unless you held me close. You'd fall asleep holding on to me. I miss all of that. The cuddling and the deep sleep I experienced while in your loving arms. What am I gonna do without you Les? What am I supposed to do? I'd do anything for one more kiss. I wish you didn't leave so soon.