Simple Gifts

You know, the simple gifts are the ones we treasure the most once they disappear. It's also the simple things that trigger sadness and a sense of loss. When I went to the bathroom to wash my face this morning, I noticed the missing toothbrush. Yours. Tears and a smile met each other half way on my face. The consolation was your T-Shirt. The one I am wearing now. Thinking about you makes me sad and recently also very happy. The simple gifts you presented every single day bring me emotions I have never experienced before. I resort to just crying sometimes because I never know what to do with the weird and sometimes wonderful feelings I get from just reflecting on my life with you. And trying to imagine more days without you. It's a tough journey.
I prepared another Sunday lunch without you today. I cried again, this time not from emotions but it was because I now have to peel onions. It was something you did for me every time we cooked together. I had a good chuckle because of the tears from peeling onion. These are simple gifts I am talking about. You protected me from even the smallest petty issues I had with things around the house.
I miss hearing your reassuring voice. Telling me you love me. The way you always said "Kea go rata" was like only you knew what it is that you loved in me.  It was with confidence and a mysterious demeanour. It was not like from anyone else. Even in death, I still have the scent and colour Of The love you showered me with. It's a stain I am not removing from my memory of you. Ke sa go rata.