Take me to my love

I now know how it feels to have nothing to lose. I mean, I have already lost you. What's the worst that can happen now? It's easy to be faithless when dreams are crushed. People have been asking me if I could make sense of death easier because of I am Sangoma. Some people want me to embrace the fact that you have now crossed over to the afterlife. I am still not able to make peace with your death. The deep pain I am feeling now won't let me let go and believe that you are dead. Dead!

I don't want to be reasonable or practical. All I want now is you. Your smile, your laugh. Your  presence Lesley. I want to hold you again. 

I wish there was something I could do to stop time from moving. Just so I could stop counting the the days you've been gone! I try speak to God. Our creator. I can't ask him to bring you back. But I also don't know how to be without you. I can't stop my tears as I type this. I'm hurting so much. It's also confusing because I planned my whole life around you. Now I don't even know if I will wake up strong enough to go to work.

I just want to be with you. I wish I knew my way to where you are.