Throw Back Thursday

I chose the picture you took and threatened to turn it into a meme. I hated the pic. In fact I still do. You complained about how I wasn't giving you attention. I was busy on my phone. Probably in a work WhatsApp group or something. I just remember how I got to make peace with the existence of this picture. I have only been able find strength to go through your phone now and your Drop Box. All the things you loved and wanted to keep.
There are still people who only found out recently that you are no more. But the reason I am writing this post is because I came across this picture in your phone and remembered your laugh and the fun you had when you were threatening to post it. I complained about looking fat. And your smile faded immediately and gave me a lecture about how I should stop talking like that. You knew how to exorcise my insecurity demons. You knew them so well. You loved me. You showed it every single day. Even during bad times.
Last night I went out to watch a movie with Gontse. We had dinner afterwards and all I talked about was you. Without crying I told him all about you.  He never really knew you, but he was touched by your passing. Many people wish they could take away this pain from me. All I can do now is just relive the memories and try feel good about them while I make peace with not being able to have more with you. I love you.