Still waving goodbye

Earlier this year at Siki's birthday,
Where you saved the pap. That story was the
Highlight of the party. 

Every single day feels like I'm on a moving bus and you are standing behind it waving, but never disappearing. The bus keeps moving but I still see you waving in the distance. And I can't enjoy this new journey because I don't want to lose the last view I have of you. I'm not waving back because I want you here next to me.
It's hard to change plans when you've build your whole life around one person. I've lost zeal for life and I am becoming even more less inspired to write about how I long for you. All it does is create a gaze for those who wonder what I am going through. I'm failing to convince myself that writing is key in the healing process I must go through. I'm broken and most of time just want to come where you are.
Every morning, I wake up surprised that I am still alive and survived the pain. I cry myself to sleep every day. That proverbial bus just keeps moving and I see you still waving and not trying to catch up so you can be with me.
I miss you so much.